Motherhood

As I tidied up, picked up the wire
I felt the buzz—heard the buzz—felt the buzz.
 
Audible hum,
electricity—
through the wire—to my hand—through my thumb.
 
Dan-Dan-Dan
 
Teeth clench—feet rooted—eyes wide—hands hold.
Cannot release.
Mind’s eye sees him,
peaceful, sleeping, shock of blonde hair
fluffed by whirring fan and floating in my vision.
 
Who will find him?
 
Hearing myself—urgh-urgh-urgh,
pulsing electricity
racing
 
across my heart
through my thumb

(Who will come?)

squeezing a drooling hum
out of me.
 
Who will care for him
if I am gone?

 
Wire jumps—heart thumps—hand drops—
Drilling, gurgling urgh changes to a gasped
uhh
and I stumble—
into the wall, wobble
into his room
to stare at him,
holding my burnt thumb to my heart.

 
About
 
© Ammie-oy 2010
 

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