Writing class exercise – Mr Tutti Van Clutties

This poem is just a bit of fun. I recently found it on my computer and thought I’d add it here as a bit of light relief! It was prompted by a university writing class exercise. We each gave our partner an obscure word or phrase that they would not likely be familiar with and they had to write a poem around that word or phrase. The phrase I was given was tutti van clutties. I had no idea what this might mean but after thinking about the phrase I thought it worked well as a name and came up with this poem:
Mr Tutti Van Clutties
Mr Tutti Van Clutties,
a Dutchman by birth,
is a noble chap with a stately girth—
suave in a smoking jacket, velvet maroon
surveying with pride his haven-like room.
His hair is slicked back like a forties spy,
his cigarette holder affectedly high.
Mr Tutti Van Clutties that honourable man runs
the finest coffee shop in all Amsterdam.
His pedigree impeccable;
he really is respectable;
his herbs the most delectable
in all of Amsterdam.
He doesn’t trade with gutter trash
but keeps a formal house.
He doesn’t advertise his hash—
he keeps the tourists out.
He only serves the finest skunk,
rolled in purest Zig Zag papers
and he lights them up most elegantly
with an overly extended taper—
each smouldering piece of modern art a credit to its maker.
The shop is aromatic,
the clients strangely static
and the smiles verge on beatific
in Van Clutties’ Amsterdam.


Photo by: ATLC at Virtual Tourist
© Ammie-oy 2010


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